so unglam 7th anniversary.

today. in the morn was feeling pretty blue, cuz i'm spending my 7th anniversary w/o dar around. 3rd time liao...n was thinking maybe he got surprise for me like SUNflowers which he practises every year. to some ppl it may b waste of money but to me it meant alot.

It brighten up my day. it makes me feel loved n not forgotten. it reali meant alot to a lonely me =((

10am at office: was wondering in my head whether i receive any sweet surprise.

11am at office: give up hope liao. brush aside the hope. maybe he needs save money cuz not working liao..must understand him. but still sian..n feel abit blue blue. although dar got send me sms in the morn to wish me happy anniversary. n called me yest nite to wish me in advance cuz today he in another province paying visit to the local... i feel it's kinda surreal. last nite i was already in deep sleep by rite with my dead log pattern i wouldnt have hear my phone ringing. some more it's shuffed in my bag. God wants me to hear dar's voice. a sort of encouragement n at the same time won't miss him so much cuz it's our anniversary tml. i'm glad i ans his call cuz with my pattern if i kena woke up, i b damn frustrated n scold the person upside down, including him. but dunno y yest nite i was veri patient n gentle to him. eirks.

12pm: my admin manager called me franctically over to her dept to attend to something. i tot some delivery man come over to collect hampers so she gan giong want me attend to it. so as i was walking over, i saw the bouquet of flowers with a cute hippo in it.

immediately i broke down into tears..i just couldnt control my emotion. i just kept on crying n crying. as though my fav pet has died. my eyeliner smudged i dun care. my manager filming my ugliness i dun care. anyway she evil* all my ugliest moment was captured down man.

but, was reali happi =)) photo explains it all .

i put the happier pics at the front..ugly one at the back =(









i realise i same color as the hippo. totally blend in. tsk.

damn.

So sian. i want to bang my head against the wall. Bought 4 light bulbs n realise the connector part is different from the current one liam's house is using. *palm to forehead. n i bot it at some ulu Jurong West place. wa lau. dunno how to go back n exchange. *irritated. haiz.

Then my supposedly motored toothbrush seems to b spoilt. wa biang. i always dun trust this kind of stuff, esp it has to come in contact with water. most likely the inner parts are rusty. or maybe i was just dumb. do not noe how to fix it. Getting more irritated now.

bot a cheapo calculator yest at $1 shop. it was spoilt also!! press the buttons got sounds but nothing came onto the screeeeeen. iw an to screaaaaaaaam. arggggggh.

Lastly all these stupid matters, was digging my nose (disgusting rite. pls lor as if u nvr dig yr nose secretly.) n some random thoughts come to my head again. recalled this news about sammi cheng the hongkong famous singer/actress. during her recuperationf rom show biz, her every single moment of her personal life was being filmed. from watching drama to doing yoga n even digging her nose!! was wondering. If If la , i become a celebrity, den i have to forgo one thing. which is farting. dunno y, sometime i cannot stop farting. maybe the paparazzi will record down how loud is my fart also. HAHAHAH.

Till now, i still cant uplaod pics on my blog. scratching the screen of the com. first internet explorer is lagging. now blogger got glitch. kns.

Before i kun3 =______=zzZZZzz ~~~~thoughts

I'm supposed to have my beauty sleep. But why am i still blogging??

Ok i tell myself, whenever i have random thoughts must quickly blog abt it if not i will forget/regret/curse myself after dat.

Was very tired from yesterday halloween celebration at night safari. it was freaky exp la $35!! last year only $28=( n those who had gone 2 times agreed with me that we won't b going back the following year already. cuz, started to get bored. Nevertheless Is till enjoyed the tram ride with my peeps, esp ah seng over exaggerating screaming which adds additional atmosphere, should have sit at the back of the tram cuz that is the most exciting part!! shouldn't reveal much cuz some of u may not been there. it is still worth a visit once in your life nevertheless.

I guess the animal show saved the day. I always like the emcee(she was good. i mean real good n no awkward pauses. i want to b like her. till now i still hoping to be a DJ haha.) n i'm happy this year she is still hosting. she is cut out for it man. I am not racist but, she keep reminding the audiences no flash lights in many many different languages but some gundoo indians or ang moh or china man still take pics with flashes. i wish the snake or raccoon just jump up n bite them. let them bleed to death n have a merry halloween. *evil grin.

k la, the night safari not so bad actually. This year i kena frighten by dear dinxin n ah seng who hid along the trail when we walked the giant trail of horror. *irritating lor. i gave dinxin a muay thai knee nevertheless. horrible la wa liew. but actuali fun la..ahahah..dat shud b the way man. when everyone feel lost form shud have this kind of random acts to spice up our night.

N n lastly, we managed to visit the bats cave~ the bats are all over the place..actuali they reali look like mouse haha. to see photos pls go facebook. xiao yu laoshi will upload soon. right lao shi? haha

k after halloween next day church service everyone like zombie.

luckily sunday after church i quite quite free..so i went buying of groceries. still rmb qilei reminding me not to buy too much later cannot carry. now i not so no brain le, i realise can push up the trolley to taxi stand =.= but it was still freaky heavy until the taxi uncle alight to help me. haha..he may b thinking this siao za bor buy so much for 1 year supply ah..

actuali wanted to uplaod the pic of grocery i have taken..but the moment i attempt to uplaod, the whole mozilla window close!! wa lau!! luckily can restore previous session so my above typing is saved. haiz no moo to blog le..maybe God is giving me signs to ask me go kun3. HAHAHA.

just to share..

Amber handed me her national geographic mag one day, the cover page is on Cambodia.

Seriously, I'm not reali interested. while flipping, saw the last cover page. SO funny..the hippo act as though it was a lion look. *disgusted.

But, i like the hair on its ears...ahahha so funny.

hectic week. again.

Monday. Free.
Tues. Visit grandma at hospital
Wed. Accompany liam's parents to settle some debt documents
Thurs. Go Muay Thai. Luckily didn't twist ankle or wat.


Fri. BUSY N HECTIC DAY!!. do some in store set up in morn. Den attended Kel lee wedding n i'm the emcee. Then after the dinner went chill out with my colleagues. Was so bloody tired when i hit the pillow. Then..

Sat. Agreed to help out my fren for her some testimonial commercial(which i tot initially). Something which At first tot she need those people interview n answer some feedback about the products.I was late for the meeting n didn't know actually they are looking for actual TV commercial shoot. =.= I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO INTENTION to b a model n i know my limits. Was pretty confused cuz meeting was already half way so i tried to catch up. Didn't understand the reason the producer was totally ignore me thru out the whole meeting. Give me 0% eye contact. At first i brush aside thinking maybe i was late she was pissed with me. Anyway another girl was pretty irritated cuz she n i didn't get in n she says waste her time. For me i just feel a bit ZZzzz plus pretty concuss from fri nite event. It was oni until the girl told me her self esteem hurt, then it set me thinking. Did my self esteem get hurt. To b frank. Yes i do. But thinking of that, wat to do. my face is big n i knew it,on tv will take up 2/3 of screen HAHHAHA. But still wanna thank God cuz i got to know this girl who is working at counselling for gambling association now. which means, i will have alot to talk to her=DD I know God let things happen for a reason.

But no matter how this incident linked back to quite a few unpleasant incidents I had. Back in uni prom 2007, i rmb the DJ who totally sucks, call for people who wore red to go on stage for some games. So my frens at the table cheer me n another girl on, so thinking dun wan the whole atmosphere to be cold, i decide to go up, but at the same time pull this girl up(with some effort). She was a model and actress. So she is pretty. it was only until we got on stage, another girl volunteer to come on stage for the game too, but she was not wearin red(quite random la she den in the first place she should quickly go up y wait til me n my fren gg up le den she quickly appear), so my fren seeing this girl came up, decide to back out, cuz DJ needs only 2 person. At that moment, i was pretty stunned cuz suddenly the 2 of them start to have a " nevermind it's ok u go, i go back" that kind of pushing. i was on stage, stunned dunno how to react. Until the emcee just tell the both of them to stay n told me, " y are u standing there? Go back la!" I was so damn embarrassed. That moment, my self esteem hit rock bottom. KNN. reali. as if i think i pretty want to volunteer. sometime u are just being enthusiastic people mistook u for wannabe. n i told myself, dun let me see that DJ n as long as i work for my company, i won't let my boss engage him as a Emcee for our event.

so these few couple of embarrassing affecting self esteem stuff, makes me wander behaving atas(high class) would be better than easily helpful or available to people?? Hmm..cuz i dun want to hurt my self esteem. i have not much actually.

Anyway after the morn model screening watever, i immediately can go somewhere to vent out my frustration which is KTV!! bloody exp. $25!! kbox reali sucks blood. Told me klunch no more when i reach at 1130am...say all the lunch set sold out. Watever la. But i dun believe. After singing..pia down to sentosa to attend liping n zhen wei ROM. scorching hot sia..but nice ambience la. Now got headache from scorching sun le. =(


oh ya. who can help me..my camera memory card corrupted but i need extract a precious video clip out!!! arhhh.

Chery QQ3 is my new fav.

I'm gg to terrorise that car owner nearby william's house to lend me his Cherry QQ3 for my wedding next year. =x

I'm with love with that duper cutesy car. have beem staring at it everytime liam drove past his with bike =) i wan place my monkey n xiaopi on this car for my wedding day. i want i want!!

k to de-stress, im gg ktv this sat. *off preparing my songs list. =D

reflections.

ok quite random..but after much procrastination, i decide to do something about liam's aircon.

Recently it has been giving out eerie/disturbing unexplained sounds which at first i tot to b frank, supernatural being. n it actuali affected my sleep n prevented me from gg back his house n sleep. funny hor. laugh all u can. zzz. Only to realise that actuali it comes from the air con. N i never clean his air con before. Haiz, so scared it will spoilt or wat.

But dunno y maybe too bothered by liam's parents stuff, i sum up my courage to do something else. so i venture into his aircon inner parts n dismantle some filter stuff n wash it, with his dad's help too.

Now my air con is clean. once again.



i started to reflect what william used to talk to me. which i dun bother last time. When i do certain things i reali think of liam's words. Like when washing the aircon filters:
" jing, see i clean the air con filters, now air con more cooling le rite?"

i used to ignore him n tot he was a clean freak. now i reali appreciate what he has done.

when i vaccum his room, where i am staying now:
" jing, today i vaccum the floor, full of your hair. now so tidy"

i used to argue with him maybe it's his mum's hair or his hair. i reali deserve to b persecuted.

when i change his bedsheet:
"smells good rite? with fresh bedsheet."

i remember tellin him i rather my bedsheet smelly smelly, that's more like me.n i even scold him to make me change cuz his bed heavy la got dust mite i will sneeze la. i reali nasty gf. no one want me except him. =(

when i arrange my shoe properly:
"jing u got so many shoes, can place them on racks when u not wearing them."

i shooh him off n tell him i lazy.

i even threw temper at him when he made the storeroom so tidy. i didnt appreciate, instead flew into a temper when i found out he donated my bags of clothing in storeroom to my neighbor who is a garang guni. dar, for this i reali angry la, but i wanted to say a big thank u for making the storeroom so neat n tidy. i can find things more easily now. THanK YOU. MUACKS.

i realise i kept on doing the opposite things that he dun like. but when he is not around, i do his ways. maybe this is what people say, 抬杠 or deliberate ba.

n i noe, i missed him. a lot. but still, i dun wan him to come back. unnecessary. make yr trip worthwhile. btw dar, your brothers not doing anything!!!

dinxin and yan always mia

edmund always kena booked by liyi

qiqi n yaoliang busy with uni life

andrew busy with his bike

ah seng is the only one occassionally bothers to disturb me.

aahhahahaah scold yr brothers when u r back pls. tsk.

God. Save me. I know U R THERE.

Now my blog is becoming more like a channel for me to vent my frustration and endless ranting..who else can it be. Now my world revolves around liam's parents. Wonderful. N it is not for happy things.

Over these 2 months, i mastered the art of not panic for the slightest matter liam's mum told me. I used to react instantly to shocking news. Now, i am immuned. dunno i shud b happy, or sad.

Dad's constant tantrums on not wanting to go for checkup, is getting on my nerves. Really. Sometime i wish, i have no temper. Now he's throwing tantrums not wanting to go for the report review. I decide to ignore him, since there are still 2 weeks to go.

Then now, mum say they want to rent william's sis room out. I was utterly shocked. I tot it was areadi arranged. Heard from mum, she say still discussing. I was quite disturbed by the news. Sorie to say, if there are guys/other races(u can call me discriminating races but at least i not hypocrite, cuz i never stay with other race before) coming to stay, i will move back to my own house to stay. I have bad experiences of staying with strangers/my mum's past bf..reali reali bad experience. Keeping fingers crossed that eventually their parents won't think of renting room out. haiz. can i can i can i ignore this headache. debt n drinking issues are enough for me for the time being. i don't want to deal with new tenants. I DUN WANT.

Lastly, i reali want to start focusing on my main project - Wedding. I'm trying not to think that w/o liam ard, i'm handicapped. i can tell qilei n kevin are trying their best to support me by all ways and im reali grateful. Lei lei, me n ivan miss u~~

n i went swimming today with celia, who was veri helpful n patient. haha..n im tanned now. eirks. I DUN WAN. but i am happy that i learnt to swim further distance, now. =)

I need someone to keep telling me n keeping me sane.

I'm gg insane soon!! That was how i feel for the past few days. Thanks to liam's dad. He made me hate him once more. De way he owe ppl's money due to drinking or watever usage. U know it is dat frustrating when u tell him to NOT drink cuz he's having body checkup this sat n he STILL drinks. wanna punch him in the face.

Last few days were totally 'bue song' i must say. so i shut my door n tell myself i need to isolate from him if not i dunno wat will become of me. i dun even bother to grumble(oni a small grumble to fei dat's all). just very very pek chek. den tell myself. i may need to go for family alcoholic counselling soon. ZzzZZ. to stay sane when u have a family member who abuses alcohol.

today he came n try negotiate with me once again not to go body checkup. this time i totally lose my temper le. the 1st time he tried, i talked nicely to him. the 2nd time he did it i explained firmly why he needs go body checkup. the 3rd time, i reali lose it. my patience is wearing thin already. so i scold him LOUD LOUD, talk to him like i gg to bash him up (k la not so kua zhang) but u won't expect to see a daughter in law doing to a normal father in law (who is a mcp) and he would haf slap u for being 'no big no small'.

scold liao, talk loud loud liao. if elt so much better. let out allllll my feelings. i DUN CARE. if need a chain i will make sure he turns up for body checkup.

k la..some pics that amuses me before he irritates me. luckily. if not i think my mood reali wil b NO GOOD.



the right one reminds me of pipi, when she's wet from shower. hahah. look so sheepish.