I NEED TO BREAK MY SILENCE.

I cannot stand it anymore. Is God testing my patience? Sending me that kind of people n wants me to resist the urge to scold that person?? i already told myself as long i dun hear directly from that person talking bad abt me, i will let the matter go. But seems like she's enjoying affecting n destroying ppl.

I am so lazy to repeat my story again. Cuz i dun think there is a need. i felt so tired n sian diao y this haven end?

My colleague can still doubt me. i am so disappointed n hurt. i thought they knew me better. Apparently they are not. They don't bother to listen to my side of story n say wat's over is over, but they listened to that horrible person story, n made judgement/assumption on me. Hello, this is so unfair! N seriously i reali dun wan to thrash it out. make me so geh gao3. im not in the wrong y shud i.

Maybe i shud confront that horrible person like fei says, " if u have any unhappiness abt me, or i do anything wrong, just say face to face, dun bad mouth behind me."

我相信邪不能胜正。 it is so hard to be Jesus. To reach out the unlovely n forgive the enemies.

Blog before i forget...

Ok before i share with u guys 2 good things has happened to me, i shall say the unfortunate thing first.

Yesterday was doing merchandising at Guardian stores, walking all over AMK area. as i was about to get to the foot of overhead bridge stair case, i notice a man stand behind the staircase around the bushes, finding him suspicious, i stare at him , n wat did i see?? i see him zipping up his pants!! gosh i do not have to tell u guys what did i see rite??? i almost witness him pee-ing. wa lau!!! sian!! luckily i oni see the ending part which is the zipping part. last time i used to wonder y there so much pee smell when i take some stairs, now i noe y le. when guys are really urgent, they behave like dogs!! so uncivilised!

k, anyway, yest i got muay thai class at nite, so during afternoon have to walk store was carrying my mega gym bag around, together with another smaller tote bag full of free gifts(facial mirror, was cursing n swearing all the way..so heavy la!! biang eh. i dunno how long i can tahan in this job. when i enter the train, it's even worse, have to squeeze thru the crowd to ensure i can stand porperly, dun knock into any innocent kids or frail old man things liddat. made me reali bad mood n low morale. i reali hate merchandising. Then, a lady offer me her seat, i was like so astounded, there's only 2 reasons that ppl offer u a seat, either u r old or u r pregnant. kids dun apply anymore. cuz mostt of them are irritating n prefer to run around. so this is the first angel in disguise i met. im reali reali thankful.

nearer to end of the day, it was drizzling, i was cursing n swearing again.. when i carry umbrella it dun rain, den wait til i dun carry on dat day, it decides to rain. pek chek lor..was very grumpy, standing at the traffic light, still with my gym bag n bag of mirrors..i was using my hand trying to shield myself from the rain drops when this another lady with the umbrella hold close to me and say let's share..i was so touched!! actuali in the afternoon i was already kinda drenched before i take the mrt, but this kind little act brighten up my day, liften my morale abit. i know, dar that u pray to God to send these little angels to be with me=))

it reminds me of corrinne may's song 'angel in disguise'

http://www.corrinnemay.com/safe/flash/index2.htm

I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue
and I stumbled out of bed
and dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said 'Somebody Loves You'

But out on the street it starts to pour
and before I get soaking wet,
A total stranger runs to give me
the jacket off his back
I turn around to thank him
But he waves me with a smile
I can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look at Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise

I met a good friend for lunch
and we had a delicious meal
But I forgot to bring my wallet
I felt like an imbecile
But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and
Bought me a chicken sandwich
To take home for tea

But out on the street with nothing to eat
A man and his shopping cart go
Travelling to places,
Collecting social graces
I give him my sandwich
and we chatter for a while
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes
He gives me his halo and
I start to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise

Don't try to hide away from me
I know you're by my side

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise
Everyday can be legendary
Every minute, an endless surprise
You could be the next angel in disguise

I woke up this morning
Feeling kind of new.

my shoe rack story...

As u guys noe, i was damn pissed with Liam's aunt earlier for being bossy n noisy. Complained my shoe rack placed at wrong location, very smelly when visitors enter our house la this and that. But, in the first place, it's liam's mum placing the rack dere, so automatically i placed my shoes there wat. duhs. n she commanded me to move my shoe rack into the storeroom. bloody hell. y me?? n so troublesome n heavy. so i ignored her.

liam's mum, noe im super bue song with her sis le, help me move into storeroom instead n pacify me when her sis gone. saying, " my sis is liddat de la, she dun mean anything bad la..nvm we move it in first, when new tenants move in, we slowly move out the shoe rack..now the hosue must look pleasant first." ahhaha i was laughing lor..so cute!! she also very jian1 zha4 lor...so today, is aw my shoe rack back in living room le dar dar. so happy~~~~


oh ya had a funny cat incident just now.. i was waiting for lift door to open, to go to 5th floor liam house when lfit open a cat wants to come out wa lau i chua4 dio3. i stammered backwards n the cat stammered inwards. i was like wth??!!! oi come out leh i think, so it ry to lure her out duludulu..chuchucu all kinds of funny sound. the cat just stare blankly at me n stay inside. i was like =___=
so i let the lift door close, n i re press the button. that lift with cat went up, stop at another floor n came down. so i tot the cat out of lift le.
zhe me zhi dao...de cat still inside!!! *palm to forehead den this time, the cat lie on the floor n rolled...n sa jiao!!
suan le
i will REPRESS MY lift. heng this time round no more cat. =D

haiz.. i still have to face it.

After 1 or 2 months, dar's parents found tenants to rent the room out.

so sian...wat to do, but i still thank God both are female tenants, at least i no need scared about any possible sexual harrassment..

But after all, strangers moving in, my belongings cannot anyhow put le..go out to work must rmb lock doors.

Dunno how much they will add on to electricity bill. ask for money from rental, dar's parents like not happy. i was like wth???! are u expecting dar to incur expenses while u 2 just happily take the rental. no right? ridiculous. i force myself to b thick skin n insist they need gimme some money to pay for electricity bills so ended up dar's mum say gimme $50. i shall monitor this coming month bill.

sometime i tell myself, thick skin abit, the most they dun like me lor. wat to do. at least i guard dar's money for our wedding.

today one incident disturbed me a bit. dar's sis was back and was in living room with dar's parents. i was leaving the house for church n i heard dar's dad 'gek gek' say to dar's mum, ' your DAUGHTER gg off never say bye bye to her ah?" i know he deliberate want to 'dui3 /irritate/ make dar's sis jealous' so i was like...is there a need? i dun like the feeling lor. kinda of being made use of. tsk. so i just rolled my eyes n went off.

My 7th anniversary present back to liam =3

Cracked my brain of wat to do for dar for anniversary..since nothings beats by d.i.y stuff..so my craving of baking comes again..fei n sin must be screaming in their hearts. not again!!! haaaa...

Owe fei a big favor..she helped me take pic, air the gingerbread man, transfer them out of oven la...bla bla bla..so sweeet. sweet kiss for u fei.


Below are a series of photos showing my tedious process of baking gingerbread man for my dar dar..since he had a touching gift for me. i shall do something to 'touch' him also..

i already pre warn him i b bringing frens back to him by his cambodia buddy who came spore for holiday. =D

i bake from 9pm to 3am...grrr..due to miscalculation regardless of my strict following of recipe. =(

beating the egg.


Staring hard at the recipe so i won't miss adding impt ingredients.

Measuring flour..i finali can afford a measuring cup!! last time ins ch times so broke can oni agar agar when i bake stuff for dar...

Adding in flour baking powder...fei commented look like adding poison.



i so ke lian..thirsty no hands can oni bend down to drink my yakult. =x


wrapping the dough in plastic wrap n dunk it into the fridge to harden. it takes one hr. some unforseen situation crop up. after one hr, my dough is still soft n wet so i tot let it b in fridge another hr..in de end i wasted 2 hr for ntg. cuz i can actuali just add flour to harden it instead of letting it harden in fridge. =((


THe mould is amazing.. cute shape of gingerbread man is out =3

1st batch..look so thick n yummy!!! not bad hor.


2nd batch...ahaha..the mini gingerbread man so OFF lor!


Airing the cookie before putting into the container..cute hor..hee.


We use the biscuits white choco sauce to paint the mouth..but as the cookie is too hot, it melts my white choco n the mouth become diluted looking..n sorta foaming at the mouth. so ke lian!!


We take the chance when the cookie is hot as it's still soft, we quickly plant the belly button on it(MnMs)..but some of it cracks n melts on our finger cuz the cookie too hot!! Fei took this opportunity to eat some melted n UNMELTED MnMs. *irritated. dar u will realise nearer to the end some gingerbread man belly button are all brown choco bits cuz fei finished the MnMs. =.=

last batch..i make sure it's very baked so it will be hard and more difficult to break. abit black..n chao dar.


Cool and ready to be packed.


Unfortunately Some gingerbread man were harmed in the process...so....


k la actuali it's my container ain't that big thus we have to disqualify the not so healthy looking gingerbread man.


All packed/squeezed and ready to go/fly to cambodia~~


This is what dar do when he receive the gift..he lay out all the gingerbread man. so embarrassing la. some of them already distorted le. sad sia. liam called it the 23 army of gingerbread man.


They looked more like voodo doll close up..with the distorted mouth n sunken eyes.

'Not my belly button!!' greedy dar. =/

Ginvera TV SHoot~~

Was actuali very blessed to have this opportunity to do this tv shoot. although ultimately dunno will see my face or not but i am still thankful that God let me experience this once in my lifetime. =))

some people are shocked that we are not being paid. seriously, i don't mind, cuz nowadays economy are bad. some more we nto consider model or talents and moreover it's a chance to hit big screen, so depends on how individual view on it ba.

Nevertheless was happy that the shoot was finali over cuz quite tortorous. cannot eat..can oni see ppl eat. we oni get to eat lip gloss!! lol..cuz we keep doin touch up on lips till we sick. haha.

Some outfits which i proposed but in the ended didn't use.





the za bor who owed me a big big favor.



They want make me look kawaii, but i feel i look more ago go..so when their big boss came, my outfit n hairstyle changed again. actuali im glad. *whispered*


Setting up~~ for the shoot.


I LOOK freaky without my eyeliner. it is like my life jacket. i felt so insecure n weird that my eyes look so naked. though i must comment that my skin is 100% flawless with this natural amkeup. natural until my eyes so bare. sobz.


Another very pretty girl, Tess. but abit cranky though. but with her around, our shoot not so dead n boring. maybe i old liao, so want to look stern n prof..actuali my inside is dying to b cranky too...=x


Touch up on my curls..oh the hair look like for wedding de..so demure..i cannot take it for real life style. arrrrh.


Most likely u ppl will oni see me on side profile..maybe can't see my face at all. bo bian..who ask my mum give birth to a big face me. tsk.


This is our setting for the ad.


like we are havin a interview session on tv.



Violet~~ the girl with dark circles prob in the shoot~~


Our makeup artist. she is so damn chio la. like korean star..her feature so defined.


our color theme is diff shades of greeeen. to match the Ginvera jade roller for dark eye circle.


i look old. 岁月不留人


Luckily i wore my platform heels..if not my face already kena 比下去了, i dun want my height also=(

i'm glad i made my grandma n mum proud. that at least ah jing got some accomplishment. =0 dar's too rite dar dar=)

random post again..

This calculator is so vintage. I stil rmb my sec sch fren threw it away into the dustbin in classroom n i went to pick it up. i still ask her is it spoilt. she say no..cuz she lost the cover so it's equivalent to no use. i was like wat???! jaw dropped!!! dat time was quite poor then my calculator kena water so abit spoilt spoilt so just in time this calculator comes handy.. n noe wat. God bless me for 5 years of usage . it accompany me thru my JC exams Uni exams..till now it is still healthy n i have intro it into my office=3 some things just stay with u forever. still got the obiang neoprint stuck on it haaaaa.



went liam's relative house quite sometime ago with dad..dad actuali want go there to drink..=.= so i follow him along he damn sian can only play with the pet bird..the bird is quite amusing. n tiny!!


cute birdie. alot ppl tot it's a toy..cuz it looks too colorful to b true!!




the luggage design that i would love to have..=D hopefully can save enough money to get just in time for my japan trip=))

The grocery pic iw anted to show!! dar how i want to let yr bloody aunt see it. if she still want to frame me for not doing hosuehold chores. *irritated. i shall not argue with 愚昧人。


Our ginny is happily taking up office shelves to display her soft toys n doing side lines. our big boss even ask wat's the purpose of her bringing so many soft toys to office. i should sell her out.


a work place not like a work place. =.= if she dare eat into my table space she wil get it from me. i sell all her soft toys to garung guni. but anyway if u guys love soft toys and want to get for frens for xmas..pls check out her blog at my right side panel.



This Ginny is getting overboard. her soft toy is flodding everywhere.

When liam not around...

Dar, u miss it?? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

Yan want to show u how much he is enjoying his noodle. =3 or your cambodia noodle.


can u see the sizzling hot steam~~


fei so cute hor...in pyjamas..


Dar, see...fei is eating your fav cup noodle brand. nissin wor.



Dar, we also have chipster to munch=D


Drinking green tea~~

Group shot of the 3 of us..enjoying food. at liam's room. liam must be pouting his lips.