Im blogging again.

2 weeks after Liam left, it's like 2 years of tribulation/hell/torture/agony.
I came to face reality. Liam's parents and money. These are the upmost on my 'things/ppl to avoid' list that I would love to fulfill when liam is away but Lord chose to let me face it.

I recalled the times I prayed for God for certain things. To be less short-tempered. To cast my worry onto Him- in other words less worrisome. To be a financially wise person. N He gave me William's parents and their credit card debt issue. =.='''

I am like already happily packing my stuff from liam house prepared to move back to my own house and isolate from them for one year le, now this has to happen. seriously, initially, i reacted like a selfish freak, grumbled n scolded them(secretly) y they are so selfish, incur this kind of debt, now we have to settled it. i'm telling myself. No way man, i am not gg to help them pay off. i won't allow william to do so too. they came up with this shit, they haf to settle it.

But, when liam found out abt their debt, it was one week before he flies off to Cambodia for 1 yr. Deep in my heart, i start to sprout out alot of negative n panic thoughts God, how?? should I beg or hint Liam to stay and settle it? But God tells me this kind fo things is not gg to be settled within a couple of months so no point william stay back for a mere few days also. So I sum up my courage and tell liam that he should not consider staying back for a few more days cuz it is not going to help. indeed it was true! After he left, there are still so many things that til now, 2 weeks have passed, not much things have tidied up, let alone saying debts repayment plan are settled.

why i say 2 weeks of trials/hell?
Imagine myself facing the 2 old folks alone...one who is always semi-drunk n keep repeating what he says and another one is hearing impaired. Frankly i felt scared to face them alone. Huili, liam's sis is not with me(physically or mentally) to support and help out during the crisis. i felt so alone and scared. I prayed. God miraculously gives me the wisdom to communicate with them. i find the right opportunity to talk to his dad, find out more about his daily routine so as to monitor him. I also learn to build rapport with his mum so as to get closer to her, n ask ehr to be a spy on dad for me. Like if dad is gg to play jackpot again, if she can't stop him, she can call me. Or if dad drinks until cannot control, call me, i will rush down n scold him.

I tell u...she called every single day for rescue..after this 2 week, i realise sometime she is so over reacting that i start to get numb areadi. God sent me her so will i will learn to be less worrisome. She is indeed my test.

after interacting with his parents for 2 weeks, it really let me reflect alot back into the past. What have I done. Ia m nothing but a selfish freak, a hypocrite who goes into church n tot that i am good n God loves me, but once i step out of church, i turn back to the selfish freak again. I shut my doors whenever liam's parents came back home so as not to talk to them. ignore the knocks on the door when his mum wanted to ask/talk to us. i am really disgusted with myself for all these stuff i have done. i can imagine maybe long time ago she want to share with us the debt prob le but we shut her out. i felt so terrible n upset.

I'm keeping myelf emotional balance by keeping more of his parents company, talk to them more, show that i reali care from the bottom of my heart...

Till now i am still trying my best, with God's strength and faith in Him that i will pull thru this trial..